- Danielle Lum is a 59-year-old in Honolulu who recently officiated a wedding for a family member.
- She remembered the first wedding she ever attended. It was her Kindergarten teacher's wedding.
- The children practiced for weeks leading up to the wedding to prepare for the big day.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Danielle Lum. It has been edited for length and clarity.
Way back when I was in kindergarten in 1969, my teacher, Miss Loui, surprised our class of about 25 kids with invitations to her wedding.
"I'm getting married, and I'd like you to be there," she told us.
Miss Loui was a young teacher, I think fresh out of college. I remember her being warm, always giving us hugs, and creating an inviting, friendly classroom. Inviting us to her special day was just an extension of her kindness to us.
I had never been to a wedding before, and I am pretty sure most of my classmates hadn't either.
When she gave us our invitations, she explained what a wedding was — a big event to celebrate marriage. She said that because it was a small church, each of us could invite just one parent.
We practiced what would happen on her wedding day
In the weeks leading up to her wedding, we practiced being a guest. Miss Loui taught us how to greet each other, told us not to yell at each other in the church, showed us how to shake hands, and instructed us about sitting still while the ceremony was happening.
She warned us that our classmates would be dressed differently than they were in school. Girls would most likely be in pretty dresses and boys in trousers with aloha shirts.
When she said that she would kiss her husband at the altar, we all giggled but were quickly told that giggling wouldn't allowed on the actual day.
She told us that even though she would be glad we came, she might not see or smile at us as she walked down the aisle with her dad.
The priest would talk, and it might be a bit boring. After the wedding, there would be refreshments, and we would only be allowed one sandwich and one cookie.
We felt we knew exactly what was going to happen — she had fully prepared us.
It was a bold choice to invite everyone, but I still remember the day
However, looking back, I'm sure she must have been a little bit nervous. We were only little, and so much could have gone wrong. There was one little boy known for running wild around the classroom. He, too, was invited. She was quite brave in her decision to ask not just a select few, but the whole class to come.
On the wedding day, the majority of my classmates and their parents showed up. What I recall most clearly is seeing my classmates dressed up. Everyone looked so proper and put together. My mom and I found our seats as the wedding began.
She walked down the aisle and was so beautiful. She winked and smiled at me as she passed by. Everything she taught us was performed on that day. Even the boy who normally was wild in the class, was tame on Miss Loui's wedding day.
That day is forever remembered by all of us who attended. We still see each other often and talk about Miss Loui, now Mrs. Chang, and how unusual it was for her to invite us to her wedding.
As important as learning to write and do math is, what children remember most is a teacher who made a difference in their lives. Were they loved, hugged, and made to feel special? Miss Loui did all of this and entrusted us with attending one of the most important days of her life.
I know schooling has changed since the late 60s, but it is a shame that there isn't more space amid the curriculum and objectives for teachers to have the flexibility to do lessons like this.
At least 20 years after kindergarten, I turned around when someone asked, "Is that Danielle?" It was Mrs. Chang. I was instantly 5 years old again, gobsmacked that she remembered me all those years later.
